I have a new hole where nothing used to be.
An absence formed from the vacuum it replaced.
It lurked in the shadows inside my head. Out of sight, out of mind, out of control. Unremarkable, perhaps, but ineluctable.
Now it is manifest, here in the waking world. I shrink from it, as it yawns beneath my feet, but I welcome it, too, with something like relief.
Tragedy has transformed a chthonic void into something bigger, but less intransigently intangible.
It makes me wonder what it was, exactly, that I have just lost.
But whatever it was, out here in the world, the hole it left can perhaps be filled, bridged, moved beyond, instead of lived in.
I’d like that.